Dedicated to My Levi...

This post I would like to dedicate to the most amazing man in the world- To My Sweet Levi. I miss him today more than I missed him before and maybe writing about him will make me feel a little bit better. Though we are not married yet, he is already plays a huge role in our family. He is our family. People usually like to measure love by how long people date, their race, income level, ages... but people who really know me will know that I would pretty much say "Hell with all the social norms!" We know each other for a little over a month, but it already feels like forever. Perhaps that what people always talk about when they say "soulmates". He is my soulmate and he is my everything! Long distance relationships are not easy and I believe they are the hardest ones, because they truly prove the real feelings that two people have for each other. Our love is very true, sincere and crystal clear. Though Levi is so far away, but I am never far away from him because my heart is with him. Our relationship is hard to compare to any other, because it is simply unique and extra ordinary, just like our feelings for each other. We both have searched for our significant other and we have finally found each other... We finally don't have to search anymore... We finally can be loved and treasured until the rest of our lives... This is true meaning of our lives- our love for each other and for our son and more babies to come... There is nothing ever I can ask or desire more. I finally have found my missing piece in the puzzle of my heart...

"Between now and you is a few hundred days, thousands of tears, and a great deal of dreaming. When those few hundred days have passed, when those thousands of tears have been shed, and when I have dreamt a great deal of dreams, I will be with you again, and it will be pure magic."

I cannot wait to see him and say "I do". I love you Levi!

Sandon is 22 months old!

Sandon turned 22 months on 19th July!!!! Actually same day as my niece's birthday!!! Two months until he turns 2 years old! Our baby boy is getting so big and so adorable as usual!!!

I finally figured out what "a ba" means. Other day walking on the street Sandon saw bunch of birds so he ran to them yelling "a ba", "a ba", "a ba"... So I thought there you go. It is "a bird"!!!!

Yesterday we went for a walk to the beach and Sandon saw dogs and said "a ba". So I am finally quite confused again what "a ba" means. LOL I believe both birds and dogs for now.

Our favorite thing to do now is slam doors of cabinets and everything that can get slammed and make a very loud sound. Few times maybe fun, but when hearing it all over again gets really on my nerves. Sandon was always a very handful child, but now it is getting even harder to look after him. Like yesterday he tried to take a huge vase from the shelf. Sigh.... There is never can be any books or just anything pretty much out of his reach... All of the things will eventually end up on the floor. Sometimes I wonder what is the point to clean my condo anyway? LOL

When he does something wrong, I try to stop him by saying "No", or "Nelzya". If he sees me being upset with him, Sandon lays down on the floor, put one of his ear to the floor and lays down like this. I don't even know why he does that. When he sees that I am fine. He gets up and goes to play. This is just really weird. :)

Couple days ago after changing Sandon, I went to throw his dirty diaper to garbage can that we have in the toilet and didn't find it. I remembered that there were quite few diapers in there that needed to be taken out. So I was puzzled where everything went and started to think that perhaps I am having an early stage of Alzheimer's and just misplaced that darn can. Then I turned around to see that garbage can is in the bath tub empty. Mmmmkay.... little boy put it in there, but where are the diapers? Well, again our favorite toilet got my attention. I opened up the lid and saw all the diapers along with toilet paper and Sandon's balls and toys in there. And again... it was quite "fun" to take everything out. Sandon for his own good disappeared somewhere inside apartment while I was taking everything out of the toilet.

All of the above really makes me think WHAT future holds for us!!! LOL

The Essential 10

My dearest friend sent me an email today with the file attached called "The Essential 55" by Ron Clark with the note "to teach your son:)" Thank you very much Auntie Kookie! I found it very interesting to read and some of the rules I believe I would want us to adopt for our son and our future kids. I don't just want for Sandon to grow up a happy and healthy person, but at the same time a decent man with great manners and positive outlook in life. I have chosen my favorite 10 rules that I believe should be our Master Rules. :) I will type a rule and then explanation WHY? I have chosen those specific rules out of 55!

1. When responding to any adult, you must answer by saying "Yes ma'am" or "No Sir". Just nodding your head or saying any other form of yes or no is not acceptable.

I always admired children who have great manners and understanding that there is difference and always has to be somewhat distance between an adult and a child.

2. Always say thank you when I give you something. If you do not say it within 3 seconds after receiving the item, I will take it back. There is no excuse for not showing appreciation.

Quite often I started to notice that more and more children started to take things they have got for granted. Everything is earned and always has to be appreciated.

3. When we go on trips or meet our family, we will meet different people. When I introduce you to people, make sure that you remember their names. Then, when we are leaving, make sure to shake their hands and thank them, mentioning their names as you do so.

I just believe that this trait will help Sandon to get along easier with people and plus earn respect. Sometimes I just hate not remembering names of the people I meet and then I try to find a way getting to know it without disrespecting them, especially when they remember my name! :)

4. Stand up for what you believe in. You shouldn't take no for an answer if your heart and mind are leading you in a direction you feel strongly about.

I never want for our kids to be a pushover. You always have to pursue your dreams, your passion and your desires.

5. Be Positive and enjoy life. Some things just aren't worth getting upset over. Keep everything in perspective and focus on the good in your life.

There is no place for negativity in our lives. Having negative outlook in life never helps, but makes it even more miserable than it was at the first place. Positive thoughts always help in everything!

6. Live so that you will never have regrets. If there is something you want to do, do it! Never let fear, doubt, or other obstacles stand in your way. If there is something you want, fight for it with all of your heart. If there is something you want to do, go for it and don't stop until you make it happen. If there is something you want to be, do whatever is necessary in order to live that dream.

It is pretty much self- explanatory above.

7. Accept that you are going to make mistakes. Learn from them and move on.

Just because you make a mistake it doesn't mean you are a failure. I remember how my mom always told me that don't do this or do that, because I am older and I am wiser. I know more than you do. Possibly she was right, BUT I always wanted to make my own decisions. If it was a wrong one and turned out to be a complete disaster. At least I could have said it was my mistake and I learnt from it and it will never happen again. Never allow anyone to influence your decisions.

8. No matter what the circumstances, always be honest. Even if you have done something wrong, it is best to admit it to me, because I will respect that, and oftentimes I will forget any disciplinary measures because of your honesty.

I agree about that. If Sandon will be honest with me, I would so appreciate that, that possibly will not even punish him. Admittance already is half way to forgiveness and him truly understanding that he did something wrong.

9. Carpe diem. You only live today once, so don't waste it. Life is made up for special moments, many of which happen when caution is thrown to the wind and people take action and seize the day.

In other words, risk it! I always take risks and quite many. Most of them paid off. Life is too short to play safe.

10. Be the best person you can be.

OR just be yourself. Don't change something in yourself to satisfy someone, but yourself. Let people accept you the way you are.

How To Know That You Are About To Deliver

First of all get it out of your head that delivery hurts! It doesn't!!! It amuses me to see on TV how mommies to be push and scream and say "I cannot anymore!":) Yes, you can... We all can!!!!

My mom went to get something to drink and my doc was away checking another girl who was about to deliver. I was pretty much alone in the room and felt such a strong enormous feeling to push. It is the same way when you want to go to do Number 2, but so much stronger. In about 10 seconds I had again that feeling and I had my waters #2 to break down. I called everyone out there and said "I am about to deliver!" I got on the scary looking chair, made myself comfy.... my doc and her assistant took their time to make sure everything is sterilized and ready to roll... LOL I wasn't scared at all.... I was relieved that I don't have those contractions anymore and everything that my body wants to do is TO PUSH! Then I was like mmmkay what do I need to do? My doctor told me that I should push when I feel like pushing. I was like I want to push like NOW! She said GO! It really actually felt good to push and you gotta push really hard, without feeling sorry for yourself. I literally felt that my veins on the forehead got all big. All I was thinking is getting Sandon out as soon as possible. (The longer you deliver the less oxygen baby has and he can easily suffocate) My doc said she sees the head. Yay, we have a head! LOL In about 5 seconds I wanted to push again. She told me go for it..... Then she was like okay now you gotta stop pushing because he has wide shoulders and he will rip you if you won't stop. But..... I couldn't stop it was beyond my ability.... My body just wanted to get Sandon out. Well, Sandon was out and he ripped me off 4 internal and 5 external stitches. Not too bad though. I didn't care... He was completely healthy, 10 toes, 10 fingers pinkish looking baby boy, all covered in some goop lol. Oh My.... it felt soooooo good. No contractions, no pushing.... just relaxation and my baby boy getting some breast milk. My doctor said that she was amazed how easy everything went and that she was proud I handled everything the way I did, since Sandon was my first baby. It took me 2 weeks of not being able to sit at all because of stitches, but it all worth it. I can take any pain as long as my baby boy is fine.

Explanation Of The Pain During Contractions

I am sure that every woman when she gets pregnant starts to wonder about what kind of pain they would have during contractions and to what extent they can bear it. Mothers-friends give us terrible stories of how painful it is and at the same time have NO way of explaining of WHAT kind of pain is that!!!! I thought a lot of HOW to express that pain in words and I think I will be able to sum it up more and less.

Soooo... who had food poison? Sure pretty much everyone at least ONCE in their life experienced that spasm abdominal pain and not getting off toilet for some time. Remember that pain that brings you to sweat, then fever, than back and forth? Sooooo.... multiple that pain by 100 times and you will get contractions' pain. It does get worse closer you are to delivery and more often. My mom and my doctor tried to talk to me so that I wouldn't concentrate on the pain, but honestly I was in that state of mind that I could curse whole world around me, BUT since I love my mom so much and I was raised properly I politely asked them all to back off and leave me alone. LOL Biting pillow and hitting wall with the fist helps a lot by the way. :) I even screamed couple times. Screaming helps as well. :)

Back on track!!!!

Oh Wow.... it has been a really loooong time since I posted last time!!!!

Sandon is already almost 22 months. Big boy. Weighs 14 kgs and his height is 85 cm. Amazing! Seriously not long time ago he could barely lift his head and now runs around like those bunnies from the battery commercial. But don't get me wrong, I am enjoying every minute of it. Sandon can count from 1 to 10, says some ABC, learns colors, especially we love saying "yellow" and "blue" and word "pa". What is "pa". I have yet to know! :) Instead of "girl" we say "gil" and we don't know a word in Russian. Yeah yeah his heritage is from Russian side and he should learn, but he will know it anyway! Plus our grandma doesn't speak a word in English!!! So that will always help for Sandon and Levi practice Russian. LOL Sandon eats pretty much everything, however his tastes change every day. Whenever I cook, I cook with a fear that he might not want to eat it. Just like it happened with the cabbage. When I said about that to Levi. He was like oh why, I don't eat cabbage too! Greaaaaaaaaat! LOL Now both of my boys don't eat cabbage. Gotta fix that! :)))

Sandon doesn't really interact here with babies, cause it is really hard to find foreign kids in here. Or mommies of babies make such an uncomfortable time to attend play dates, that we cannot make it. Sorry, but I am full time working mom and I can go and do things only on Weekends or after 5 pm BUT Nooooo, let's make a playdate every Tue at 10 am. So now looking for a good daycare for Sandon to play with other kids. But I know it is going to be hard for me to leave him with the bunch of strangers. All I have in my mind what if someone offends him or hurt him? BUT he needs to roughen up and be tough I guess. I really don't want to mother him a lot. He is going to grow up and be as strong and as tough as his daddy!!!! Life is so hard and I want him to grow up to be a decent man who he is going to be a fighter!

Our baby boy is growing up to be a really sweet child. He loves giving me kisses and hugs. I feel so happy when he does this. Every time when I come home from work and he walks with his nanny, he runs to me and hugs me so tight and don't want to let me go. I enjoy every minute of it, because I know once he grows up he will probably think that it is so not cool to kiss or hug his mom too much around his friends. But I hope he won't be like this, because he will always be my little boy and I will always be his mommy.

I really want to have more kids as soon as possible. I don't know, but maybe I have this "mother clock" inside me that keeps ticking and telling me to have more children. I always wanted to have a huge family and I already do and cannot wait to see them all in US, but Levi and I will deffinitely add more little family members to it. LOL Just like one wise person said: "Children are flowers of our life".

Well, this blog is pretty much all over and recap of everything that concerns Sandon that I didn't post for such a long time. I will keep remembering some stuff and posting it here. I am so happy I accidentaly found my blog again. It makes me so happy to read again all how I felt about my pregnancy. So.... see you all later!