Only 6 weeks to go!

I can’t believe that there are only six weeks left and maybe even less, if the baby will want to see the world earlier than he is supposed to. We are slowly getting ready for his arrival and it brings us a lot of joy and happiness. I really can’t wait to see our son. I can’t wait to kiss his little cheeks, feet, and hands. I can’t wait for him to look at me and see that it is his mommy holding him.

My doctor told me that I need to slow down on eating things with glucose, including bread or sugar. Our baby right now weighs already 5.29 pounds, whereas at week 34 he is supposed to weigh 4 ¾. I can’t say that I put on so much weight, just 11 pounds, but I think most of it went straight to the baby. Since I would like to have a natural birth and do not want to have any complications during labor, I need to try not to put on weight, which is hard.

I must say that I am tired almost all the time. I just wake up in the morning BOOM... I am already tired. It is hard when I start cleaning the house or washing clothes because I get so worn out that it is unbelievable.

I am trying to enjoy the free time that I have left and trying to finish everything I wanted to, because I know I won’t have any extra time VERY soon. Baby will be with me all the time and plus I am a full time student. My studies will start from 1st October, right when baby arrives. So I would need to somehow combine being a mom and a student. I am sure I will handle all of this, especially when I have such a mom, and of course my dog. I am sure he will be helping us out with the moral support very much. LOL!

It was nice to read in my book that if baby will be born at this time, he will have no problem of surviving outside womb. However, I want him to stay inside me until the due date. I guess we will see how nature will take it’s course. Well, I am going to go and lay down. I am SO tired! Thank you for everyone who reads my blog and leaves comments. It is so great to know that there are people out there who care.

Well... Life... I Guess...

I am so depressed right now... Do you ever have a feeling that you have made a mistake by choosing a particular path? That you shouldn't have done it, that it wasn't worth it? I have this feeling from time to time and now it gets stronger. I am not sure what to do yet, but I know I will figure out, because I simply don't have a choice. I have to... I won't go into details about what is happening in my life. I mean, really, what for? All people have their own problems without thinking about mine.

I cried today. I cry from time to time. Usually I am very happy and optimistic person. If you would see me in public, you would think that I am the happiest person you can ever meet, but nobody really knows what is going on inside my soul, my inner world... I know how to hide my feelings. I know I shouldn't cry. I read somewhere that baby actually feels the pain and the feelings of what his mom feels. This saddens me, because I would never want my baby to cry, unless these are tears of joy and happiness. I just can't stop thinking that this is not how I wanted my life to be and it kills me. I thought I always made good decisions, but the one that I made almost two years ago wasn't one of them. I am so pissed at myself. I was just a stupid naive girl thinking that it will all get better... But it won't and now.... I need to fix it, no matter how hurtful it can be. Time will make it better. It always does...